Life

We had a great time in South Dakota and now it’s back to life as usual. I start with Sanford Worthington Hospice Cottage on the 24^th but I have to go for a health assessment on the 13^th. I went to an interview for Bomgaars and he didn’t even ask me any questions he just sent me for a drug test. I have to go tomorrow and fill out new hire paperwork and then I can start. I’ve never worked two consistent jobs before (I’ve had either a regular job with something here and there or two or three per diem jobs at a time) so that will be different. I will probably have to quit one of them when school starts up again full time but that won’t be till October. I’m nervous to start up again. I’m nervous that I will procrastinate doing my homework again and I’m terrified that I’ll get sick and have to drop out again. I want to finish and get my RN so badly so I can hold my head high again and have something to be proud of myself for. I feel like flunking school is just the tip of the iceberg for everything I’ve ever failed at. I haven’t had a shift with Grape Tree or Aventure since May 14^th and that doesn’t help anything either. I was so proud of myself when I was making good money and putting it in to savings! Plus working at the nursing home in town where I was more familiar with the routine and the residents, I felt like I was a good nurse. I learned a lot about handling situations on my own and how to chart and how to manage my time. It felt so good! I wish I could work there as a nurse but they are on a hiring freeze for nurses. I started taking medication a couple months ago to help me sleep at night. I tried a lot of different over the counter remedies and nothing seemed to help so I went to my doctor and got a prescription for Ambien. It’s such a nice change to be able to just sleep and not have to wake up a million times to pee and the vivid dreams aren’t near as bad as they used to be. I only have them now after I wake up if I try to go back to sleep. The only downfall is that with not having a job I sleep way too much and that makes me feel crappier than not sleeping. I’ve gained about 15 pounds since my surgery back in December and that may not seem like much but it’s just one more thing to feel bad about myself for. Things between Jesse and I are better for the most part. He’s just as stubborn as always but so am I and we are both learning how to make each other happier. We’re finally on the same page about having kids and it makes all the difference in the world. I was so worried deep down that he would always have a reason for us to wait and that he would never be ready, but I think we’re finally getting to the point where we both are ready. I still would like to wait until I’m done with school because I’m terrified that for one reason or another I won’t finish if we don’t, but sometimes hormones get the best of me and I get ahead of myself. It’s hard for me sometimes to be patient. I’m enjoying having the time to read books for leisure and I was working on some sewing projects but my grandma’s sewing machine that I’ve been using is broken and I’m just not able to get it fixed right now.  I’ve been thinking about applying with Sheldon Fire and Rescue because I miss being a part of the community and being able to serve others, but I’m worried that I won’t have the time to commit to it once I get hired on with both places and start school and stuff. We finally fenced in the back yard and now I can’t imagine how we ever got by without having it!  The dogs aren’t quite used to being outside and we have to be careful leaving them alone out there because Holly had a tendency to roll in duck poop. The chickens and ducks are just about big enough to eat and I’m excited to see what home-grown poultry tastes like! I’ll keep you all posted on that. That’s about the extent of what’s going on here. Thanks as always for reading!